One time I was evangelizing to an atheist while I was drunk. I would say that I was in a dark place in my life. God was calling me out to represent him and he continued to promise me he had better for me, but I was out getting drunk. But even in my darkness I still loved God. I loved him enough to preach to a guy who didn’t believe in Him. I loved him enough to be offended because this guy didn’t believe in God’s existence. But I needed to love God more. I loved him…just not enough. I loved other things more than God. I was sinning by being drunk but I still professed his name. I’ve confessed this sin and many, to God and asked for forgiveness for representing him the wrong way. I don’t think anything is wrong with having a drink, but that night was way more than just a drink. It is all a little foggy. Not only was a drinking a lot, but I was in a place in my life where I wished I could be better in many ways but couldn’t figure out how. I knew what God wanted me to do but I didn’t obey. I was stuck in a lifestyle that I didn’t want to be in, and God continued calling out to me. He continued calling me out from the darkness. I never saw that atheist guy again and I have a feeling my attempt at sharing God’s love with him didn’t change his life, since he was drunk too. But who knows, maybe he went home and sobered up and exclaimed, ” By golly Gee! God is real!” I’ll never know, but I do believe God can use even moments like that for good. God is able to do whatever he wants. In my weakness he is strong.
Sometimes we treat God like jelly. Jelly is in a jar and it’s mostly used for sandwiches or toast. If I were to compare God to a food condiment I’d have to say he’s like Ranch because Ranch isn’t just for salad, but for pizza, and burgers, and fries…etc. You really can’t put much limit on Ranch. But of course God is way better than ranch. We put God in a jar and call him jelly and say he’s only a certain way or only loves certain people, or only works in this way or that. But God is God and he can do what he wants. In my experience he works in a way that is motivated by love. God is Jesus who spent time with the prostitutes and tax collectors. God is the God who parted the Red Sea for Moses and the Israelites. God is a God who led the Israelites into battle. God is the man who died for your sins. God is a God who does things we just don’t understand. God is that quiet voice that calls you out of your darkness saying he wants what is better for you.
Maybe you think God can’t save you. He is able to do more than you can imagine. God is calling you out of darkness. Stop running and just be still before Him. We lie to ourselves so easily, saying our small little choices are no big deal, or that we are just going to see what happens. But if we see what happens we, more often than not, choose what we want regardless if it’s good for us. But God calls us to live life with intention. Say yes to God, be still before Him, and say no to the things that aren’t consistent with the character of God, and let him lead you into peace and joy everlasting.