The Struggle

life-is-a-beautiful-struggleNo matter what,  we will struggle.

Sometimes God tells us what to do,  and although he gives us peace, we are still struggling and working hard.

Other times we have to choose our struggle because God gives us a choice.

Our response to the struggle is what makes our lives meaningful.

For the last few months I have been helping out with a ministry, were a few of us go to a women’s rehab center, and have church with the women. We bring coffee and brownies, someone plays worship, and someone teaches. We pray and talk with the women and God really shows up. It’s an amazing ministry. Last week I was worshiping in the back of the room at this ministry and I felt this overwhelming peace come over me. Sometimes we feel like we are giving in a ministry, but I felt like I was receiving and healing as I worshiped and watched this room full of women singing out to God with joy.  I suddenly felt blessed to be a part of this ministry. I was satisfied to be exactly where I was. I wasn’t comparing myself to anybody or thinking about my flaws, or my fear of  the future. I was fulfilled and overflowing with joy. Then  I was thinking about how unhappy I was about my financial situation and how I needed to get a full time job.

I’m sure you understand how as soon as the peace and joy of God fills you, the enemy comes to try and steal it away.

Then I felt God say to me in my spirit, ” Choose your struggle.”  God basically made it clear to me that I have the choice to work less and have opportunities to do ministry more often. Due to only working part time, I feel like most of my life is ministry and I LOVE it.I can be available to those I feel God has called me to minister to.  I have time to spend real quality time with people, but I’m struggling financially because I don’t make very much money. If I had a full time job, I would be struggling with the hard work of working many hours,  and finding time to spend with people. Some people choose this life as well and it works for them and God uses them. Having a full time job wouldn’t keep me from struggle, it would just be a different struggle. Right now I’m choosing this life and I find it worth it.

Honestly, I am insecure about my financial situation. I have a bachelors degree, but still work a part time job. I live at home and can’t afford to move out right now. I know a season is coming where I will work full time. I am working on paying off my debt and student loans with Financial Peace University. But sometimes I think, ” How can God use me to inspire others when I’m only working part time, living at home, and not very good at keeping my money in order ?”  I think this because I compare myself to others who have “careers” or have so much money they can afford to give a lot away.  I long to be in a career I love and have enough money to help others more. I also want to be proud of the way I handle my money and I’m not. But I am working on the areas I fail and God is helping me with those things. But they don’t define me or make me less useful for the Kingdom.

In that moment during the rehab ministry,  God told me it’s ok for me to choose my struggle and that he is using me and changing me in this struggle. He meets us in the thick of it.  In the last few days he’s confirmed, through people,  that I’m right where I need to be and he is faithful!

No matter what your life situation is God can use you right where you are. Rich or broke, leader or follower, college education or no college education, God can and will use you if you surrender. He will use your circumstances to help you grow in this season, and move you out into the next season. God will change your life as he changes the lives of others through you. Just trust that He is able!

Either we struggle with a job or without . We struggle single or married . We struggle when we are busy or bored . No matter how good things are we will be struggling because we want what we don’t have or we think we need what society tells us. Listen to God and be present in your struggle because he is fighting with us and for us. And he will use us in the lives we touch as we move towards Christ in the struggle .


One thought on “The Struggle

  1. Thanks for sharing, that’s beautiful. Seems like Jesus meets us at our deepest in the struggle not the comfort. Has certainly been true in my life too.

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